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Unmarried Military Spouse
As I head towards my sixth year as an unmarried military spouse, I thought it was about time I shared my take on it. Being a military family, everyone just assumes you’re married, and that automatically makes you a ‘dependant’ (do you all hate that too?!) I want to delve into the world of the modern military family. So here goes… Quick back story to get you up to speed if you don’t have time to scroll back through my blog. My not-husband and I met back in 2015. We met online as I was working 13-hour shifts on a surgical ward, and he was doing the usual too-ing and…
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Children and Marriage – Does it become a necessity?
As an unmarried military spouse with a new baby, I’m questioning if having children changes how marriage is viewed, or perhaps if marriage become a necessity? I want to explore how having children shifts dynamics. I’ve talked before about being an unmarried military spouse but here’s a quick recap (or read the full intro here) We’ve been together for over 5 years, I am step-parent to his teen girls (13 & 15) and we’ve not tied the knot. For a military couple, some people find this odd, but for us, it just hasn’t been an issue. We own our own home and my not-husband is stationed nearby. He has been…
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Pregnancy: When growing a human actually sucks!
“Have a baby”, they said. “Pregnancy is magical”, they said. “You’ll be glowing”, they said. They lied! It’s not all pink and fluffy like we’re told. Not everyone ‘enjoys’ pregnancy. Some of us struggle growing a human and THAT’S OKAY! As I write this, it’s 0350hrs and I’m sat in my conservatory eating cereal and drinking a decaf tea! Having woken up at 0200hrs to pee, I attempted to go back to sleep but the hunger got too much! I’m sure this baby thinks “if you’re awake, you’re going to feed me!”…demanding already!! I’m currently 29 weeks pregnant with our little boy (my first but my not-husband’s third after two…
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The Crazy World of Deployment!
3 years…where did they go?! 3 years ago, I was getting up at 4am to wave off my not-husband to Canada. He was deploying for the second time that year! You begin to accept that getting up at 1, 2, 3, 4 or even 5am is just part of the deal sometimes! The alarm goes and we get up in the dark, sneaking downstairs, trying not to wake anyone else. The Spaniel thinks it’s wonderful we’re up, celebrating by banging his tail against the kitchen radiator! Ssh!! We had been through a deployment once already that summer, he’d only been home six weeks and boy did we squeeze a lot…
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Why is it women take their husband’s name after marriage?
What’s in a name? I’ve seen many articles about the origins of a name but I want to explore the ‘tradition’ of women taking their husband’s surname after marriage. With changing times, has it lost its favour? Is it still as important and is it acceptable for a man to take his wife’s name instead? For me, it’s been a topic of much debate with my own not-husband on many occasions. He is a very traditional man, proud of his male lineage and believes strongly in passing down his family name. Unfortunately, I too am proud of my surname and hate the idea of losing it! Luckily we aren’t planning…
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Weekending!
The highs and lows of ‘weekending’ – military style. Urgh! Sunday evening and he’s leaving…AGAIN! Weekending sucks! How many of you can relate? My wonderful not-husband leaves somewhere between 1800-1930 every Sunday, either to pick up others or be picked up. He’s working 180 miles from home during the week and travelling a good 4 hours (if he’s lucky) back each Friday to be with us. (aka weekending) Why? Because the Army says so! Luckily only April – July for us, I know some of you do this long-term and I take my hat off to you! Walking into a quiet, empty house, looking at the chaos in the kitchen…
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Loss vs Life
Part One – Before The Loss I wanted to share a little of my journey through grief with you. Why?! Because I wish I’d have understood more about the grieving process before it started. Before I experienced the loss! Losing my amazing Dad has been the toughest, most self-defining time of my life. It made me question everything, it changed my view on life and it pushed me to confront fears I never knew I had. The Beginning We never saw it coming! June 2018, Father’s Day. Little did we know, it’d be our last! My Dad and I shared that day in a hospital observations ward. He’d had back…