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The Crazy World of Dating
Our 17 year old recently discovered that her dad and I met online and she was ‘amused, with a hint of confused’. She asked, “Why online? Why can’t you just meet people ‘normally’?.” Now I was the one finding it odd, as this was coming from someone whose entire generation lives online! I don’t know about you, but how many times have you been out somewhere and randomly bumped into someone who might just be the love of your life?! I’m pretty sure that only happens in films (do let me know if you met that way!). I asked her how her dream meeting would go and she reeled off…
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The Crazy World of War – a Spouse Perspective
Wherever you’re from, be it Britain, America, Ukraine, Russia, or somewhere else in the world; a military spouse is a military spouse. With recent escalations, I thought I’d try and share (my take on) the perspectives of spouses around the globe. Whilst the world is watching events unfold, spouses are watching from their own unique position. Over the last day or so, I have seen both British and American spouses on social media expressing their compassion for Ukrainian spouses, and their worries about what this may mean for their own serving spouse. Will they be deployed at a moment’s notice? Will they have to join NATO forces along the Baltic…
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Unmarried Military Spouse
As I head towards my sixth year as an unmarried military spouse, I thought it was about time I shared my take on it. Being a military family, everyone just assumes you’re married, and that automatically makes you a ‘dependant’ (do you all hate that too?!) I want to delve into the world of the modern military family. So here goes… Quick back story to get you up to speed if you don’t have time to scroll back through my blog. My not-husband and I met back in 2015. We met online as I was working 13-hour shifts on a surgical ward, and he was doing the usual too-ing and…
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Children and Marriage – Does it become a necessity?
As an unmarried military spouse with a new baby, I’m questioning if having children changes how marriage is viewed, or perhaps if marriage become a necessity? I want to explore how having children shifts dynamics. I’ve talked before about being an unmarried military spouse but here’s a quick recap (or read the full intro here) We’ve been together for over 5 years, I am step-parent to his teen girls (13 & 15) and we’ve not tied the knot. For a military couple, some people find this odd, but for us, it just hasn’t been an issue. We own our own home and my not-husband is stationed nearby. He has been…
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Pregnant in a Pandemic
Being pregnant during a global pandemic wasn’t the best timing, but here’s why it wasn’t all bad! 26th January 2020 – I found out I was pregnant. No one in the UK really thought anything of this virus that was taking hold in a little city in China. We had no idea what was about to come our way! On January 31st, the first two cases in the UK were confirmed. 28th February, the first British death occurred on board the Diamond Princess Cruise Ship, quarantined at the Port of Yokohomo, Japan. 5th March, the first death inside the UK, and the total number of cases stood at just 115.…
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Pregnancy: When growing a human actually sucks!
“Have a baby”, they said. “Pregnancy is magical”, they said. “You’ll be glowing”, they said. They lied! It’s not all pink and fluffy like we’re told. Not everyone ‘enjoys’ pregnancy. Some of us struggle growing a human and THAT’S OKAY! As I write this, it’s 0350hrs and I’m sat in my conservatory eating cereal and drinking a decaf tea! Having woken up at 0200hrs to pee, I attempted to go back to sleep but the hunger got too much! I’m sure this baby thinks “if you’re awake, you’re going to feed me!”…demanding already!! I’m currently 29 weeks pregnant with our little boy (my first but my not-husband’s third after two…
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Unexpectedly Expecting
Erm…so this happened! We’re expecting a baby boy in September! Somewhat of a surprise but I believe everything happens for a reason. Rewind… Let me take you back to a previous blog post not so long ago. Our story of an early miscarriage. If you haven’t got time to read the full post, here’s a quick recap. In November 2019 we found out we were pregnant, but after only a few days, a doctor confirmed a miscarriage. It was super early but that didn’t mean it didn’t affect us. We were devastated, after just getting our heads around expecting a baby, straight into being told we’d lost it. Fast forward…
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Miscarriage: A Different Kind of Loss
Well this is a post I never thought I’d be writing! Sharing my story of an early miscarriage in the hope you won’t feel alone, or that you’ll understand what your friend, partner or someone you know is going through. I have written about loss before, after losing my Dad, but this is something very different. This was unexpected and brought more emotions than I could ever have imagined! One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage but so few talk openly about it. I felt so alone and unsure of what to expect. In just six days my world turned upside down and did a back flip. From a +…
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The Crazy World of Deployment!
3 years…where did they go?! 3 years ago, I was getting up at 4am to wave off my not-husband to Canada. He was deploying for the second time that year! You begin to accept that getting up at 1, 2, 3, 4 or even 5am is just part of the deal sometimes! The alarm goes and we get up in the dark, sneaking downstairs, trying not to wake anyone else. The Spaniel thinks it’s wonderful we’re up, celebrating by banging his tail against the kitchen radiator! Ssh!! We had been through a deployment once already that summer, he’d only been home six weeks and boy did we squeeze a lot…
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The Crazy World of Adulting!
Do you feel like an adult yet? I think we’ve all questioned this at some point. Haven’t we?! “Are we ‘adulting’ correctly?!” I glanced over at the birthday card on the fireplace whilst sipping my morning tea and it hit me! Right there, right then. I am an actual adult! Sharing my story because I feel we all question ourselves sometimes and yet we’re all doing just fine! The birthday card was “To my wonderful (not) Wife and Best Friend”. It suddenly dawned on me. This person in my life – my amazing not-husband – thinks the world of me. He thinks I’m great and appreciates all I do! Who’d…
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Why is it women take their husband’s name after marriage?
What’s in a name? I’ve seen many articles about the origins of a name but I want to explore the ‘tradition’ of women taking their husband’s surname after marriage. With changing times, has it lost its favour? Is it still as important and is it acceptable for a man to take his wife’s name instead? For me, it’s been a topic of much debate with my own not-husband on many occasions. He is a very traditional man, proud of his male lineage and believes strongly in passing down his family name. Unfortunately, I too am proud of my surname and hate the idea of losing it! Luckily we aren’t planning…
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Weekending!
The highs and lows of ‘weekending’ – military style. Urgh! Sunday evening and he’s leaving…AGAIN! Weekending sucks! How many of you can relate? My wonderful not-husband leaves somewhere between 1800-1930 every Sunday, either to pick up others or be picked up. He’s working 180 miles from home during the week and travelling a good 4 hours (if he’s lucky) back each Friday to be with us. (aka weekending) Why? Because the Army says so! Luckily only April – July for us, I know some of you do this long-term and I take my hat off to you! Walking into a quiet, empty house, looking at the chaos in the kitchen…
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What exactly is NORMAL?
I had a great session with my counsellor today. A productive hour where she made me feel incredibly ‘normal’. But what exactly is that and how do we know if that’s us?! I’ve been seeing my wonderful counsellor for just over a year now and I always wish I’d started sooner! Years of anxiety and feeling ‘just not right’, turned out to be the consequence of burying emotions and never processing or voicing how I really felt. Even as a kid, I never showed when I was upset by something; I kept everything to myself and would continue like nothing was ever happening. BIG MISTAKE! As a young adult, I…
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Loss vs Life
Part One – Before The Loss I wanted to share a little of my journey through grief with you. Why?! Because I wish I’d have understood more about the grieving process before it started. Before I experienced the loss! Losing my amazing Dad has been the toughest, most self-defining time of my life. It made me question everything, it changed my view on life and it pushed me to confront fears I never knew I had. The Beginning We never saw it coming! June 2018, Father’s Day. Little did we know, it’d be our last! My Dad and I shared that day in a hospital observations ward. He’d had back…
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So Who Am I? – The Unmarried Military Spouse
I’m just an ordinary unmarried military spouse trying to adult my way through life, with a hint of what I like to call ‘a crazy brain‘. You know, those weird ass, mostly nonsense thoughts you have sometimes, where you wonder if anyone else thinks these things… Well I’m here to tell you they do! It’s hard isn’t it? Life! Having entered the over 30’s category as an unmarried military spouse, I decided a blog might be a good idea (and now a podcast!) I question everything and try to find my own logic through it. I figured if I write and just one person can relate (and feel a little more…